Uncover The Secrets Of Having A Great Memory

Have you ever wondered why some people are better at remembering things than others?

Most of us go through life believing we have either a good or a bad memory. This in itself can be troublesome. Our brains are pretty amazing, and have some phenomenal abilities. However, it also takes our beliefs at face value. So if your belief is "I'm a bit rubbish at this" then in simple terms, that is what you will be. Our unconscious mind believes what we tell it. 

If the story you have told yourself and others for years is that you have a terrible memory then its likely that over the years you will have collected countless amounts of evidence that this is a fact. The thing is that when we believe a story we go looking for the evidence to support it.

Consider someone believing the story that they are rubbish at maths (I know this story, it was mine for a large part of my life). If I'm honest it was easier that way. When the opportunity arose for mental arithmetic e.g. calculating the share of a bill at the end of a meal, it was easier to say "Don't ask me, I'm rubbish at maths." This saved me from the embarrassment of having to do something I didn't feel confident in. The problem with that is that I avoided practicing my skills and therefore never improved.

We are all capable of using our brains more effectively if we can let go of our self-limiting beliefs. Having a good memory is actually more down to having good technique.

Consider having some important letters you need to respond to at some point. Imagine throwing them into a random untidy cupboard in your house (whilst concentrating on vacuuming).

Now imagine treating the letters a little differently. Perhaps you might purposefully put them in your cupboard in the file you have labelled 'letters'.

In which scenario will the letters be easiest to find and respond to?

It seems a simple analogy but many of us are throwing our 'things to remember' into our brains like letters thrown into an untidy cupboard. For a while this sort of works, but as we get older and our brains struggle a little more to process things quickly we become a little unstuck.

All is not lost though. There is so much you can do to organise your thinking and get your brain working in tip-top condition. The first step is to let go of those limiting beliefs.

• Try an affirmation as simple as "I have a great memory", your subconscious brain doesn't know the difference and believes self talk whether it is negative or positive. Say it to yourself or write it in your journal.

• Also, take time to notice how you talk about yourself and your memory to others. Do you find yourself making excuses and telling others about your terrible memory? Change it to "I'm working on my memory". You should start to notice a difference

Laura is co-founder and joint CEO of Memory Matters South West CIC as a well as a mindset coach for women at www.laurajessica.com

5 Excuses That Keep Us Too Busy To Change Our Lives

Filling every gap in the day by being busy is so common for women that I find one of the biggest hurdles at the beginning of any coaching relationship is getting women to stop.

A spot of guilt free 'me time'

It sounds so simple but for many it just isn't. The fact is that as women we have so many roles;  boss or employee, mother, partner, daughter, cook, bottle washer, cleaner, taxi driver, entertainer, lover, the list goes on.

If we really wanted to we could fill every minute of every day. There will always be tasks to be performed, things to be completed, stuff that needs our attention. The hard fact is that all of us will keep on being busy until we make a conscious decision to change it.

Of course being busy isn't all bad and stuff does need to get done but when we start to look at the pay-offs for keeping busy (and perhaps doing it all ourselves) we begin to see that perhaps we don't need to be as busy as we are. So if you crave a bit of 'me time' read on.

Some excuses that keep us busy...

1. "If I don't do it no-one else will".

If this is an honest statement, then it may well be that that 'thing' doesn't need to be done because if no-one else will do it, it is only you that sees it as something worth doing. Generally someone else WILL do it if there is a pay-off for them. eg. If no-one else in the family will hang the washing out it may well be because they know you will. If you stopped hanging the washing out it is probable that they may well start to do it when there are no dry clothes to wear.

2. "No-one else does it properly so I HAVE to do it".

This is a question of standards! I distinctly remember my children learning to load the dishwasher. I felt it was much easier to do it myself. It took longer when they did it, there was a terrible mess and generally it needed re-stacking so it took twice the amount of my time. I honestly wanted to take over and it was my husband that told me to go away (politely) and had them do it after every meal until low and behold we have a whole family team who can competently load a dishwasher so the task is shared and I do it less.

3. "If I don't do this I will be looking at it all evening and feel unsettled".

Are you 'stuffocating'? Decluttering is where it's at! Get rid of all your uneccesary stuff in your visual field. Having 'stuff' that isn't where it should be (or doesn't need to be in your life at all will unsettle you). They are after all just tasks waving at you when you are try to take time out. I can highly recommend getting a good declutter book and ridding yourself of everything you don't need and surrounding yourself with the things you love. 

4. "If I don't do this I will feel guilty". 

Guilt is something us women know about! But ask yourself why you feel guilty. Are you being hard on yourself? For example, if you need to go shopping for your great aunty and you don't really want to, is it because no-one else is pulling their weight or because you can't bear the idea of someone else doing it (see number 1 and number 2 above.) Is it realistic to put alternatives in place so it isn't always you?

5. "If I don't do this I will have to do things I am scared of".

What is being busy stopping you from facing?

I will use myself as an example for this one! As a bit of a workaholic and as a mother and wife too it is easy for me to say how busy I am. No-one questions it. In fact, people say to me "I know you're busy" before I even open my mouth. For a long time 'being busy' was my perfect excuse for not doing things that were outside my comfort zone. I am a little bit terrified of social situations despite my ability to be completely confident in the business environment. Being busy was the perfect excuse not to socialise. I also never made time to exercise because, you guessed it, "too busy". 

It took a bit of bravery to see my "busyness" for what it really was and tackle it head on. To grab the bull by the horns and make myself go to the pub with friends (who'd nearly forgotten my name) and to begin to run three times a week to increase my fitness.

I work on a weekly basis with women who want to shape the life they want and get to where they want to be. It's always interesting to hear them describe the lives they want, which often involve a good amount of 'me time'. When we start to move towards this goal, it becomes really apparent that 'stopping the busy' opens us up to some pretty deep questions around 'who actually am I when I'm not doing?' and  'What is it that I actually LIKE doing?'