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3 Things To Do to Feel in Control in an Out of Control World
At the moment things can feel a little out of control and it is not uncommon to feel utter exhaustion as we grapple with this whole new world.
Watch the video or read the article.
Here I outline just 3 changes you can make today to feel more in control. Give it a go and let me know how you get on!
Switch an hour of social media for an hour of bliss.
Most people are surprised by the number of hours that social media gobbles up. On average internet users spend two hours and 22 minutes online. When we are on social media we are not as in control as we think we are. Algorithms are set to keep you online as long as possible so that companies can advertise to you. While you may think you are making choices about what you watch and spend time reading, you are not.
Social media, although important for keeping us connected, has a negative impact on our feelings, particularly if your feed is full of the current news, anger and disappointment.
By committing to replacing an hour of social media with something you love, you are taking control of your happiness and putting yourself back in the driving seat.
For example, one of my clients used to love to draw but found she no longer had time to do it. She also felt it was indulgent to spend time doing it when there was so much else that needed doing. However, when she realised she was spending over two hours on social media a day she realised she had some time she could claim back and repurpose for her own mental health by getting in to blissful flow.
Flow is a state we get into when we do an activity that we love and are often quite good at; for some, it is sporting activities - for others, it is creative work. You know you have found flow when time feels as if it has stopped, and you are totally absorbed beyond the point of distraction. When was the last time that you were in flow? Whatever it was you were doing, do more of that.
When we are in this state our mind chatter melts away and gives us a high, leaving us fulfilled and motivated.
Schedule in ‘me time’ every hour!
With so many of us working from home, you may think that we have become less productive. However, research is showing that we are actually doing more. I am sure I am not the only one who will put on a load of washing or start marinating my dinner during my working day. It has become easy for us to add more jobs to our list when home and work-life blend. While there are advantages to this, there are also many risks. Working from home can increase the pressure on us, and from talking to my own colleagues it is apparent that this can have a knock-on effect - for example, missing lunch breaks or eating at the screen.
Make sure you take screen breaks and walk around, outside if possible. I use the Pomodoro technique - set a timer for 25 minutes, and when the alarm goes off stop whatever you are working on (even if you are in flow). Make yourself get up and walk around, have a drink, change the scene and then sit back down setting the timer for another 25 minutes. After 4 sets of 25 minutes take a longer break - 20 minutes is good. This is your ‘me time’.
I was amazed at how much more productive I became when I started using this technique. It stops procrastination in its tracks and you will feel much more in control.
Trade feeling bad for feeling good
Not being in control is hard. When we are out of control we feel fearful. We have to accept that there are things that you can’t control. We must be willing to let that stuff go. For example during the pandemic you can’t stop other people having house parties, but you can influence how your household approaches things - you can take precautions, use hand gel, follow the guidelines.
Watching the news 24/7 does not help anyone and has a detrimental impact on us, as most of the time we are watching evidence of things outside of our control. Commit to watching something that lifts you up and makes you feel good.
Tune in to how you are spending your time and use the feel-good filter. Ask yourself - does this activity drain me or replenish me? I find that watching the news will drain me, so I limit the time I spend watching it and actively find other activities to do instead that replenish me.
In Daring Greatly, Brene Brown talks about the inhale and the exhale. The exhale is when we give something of ourselves, through working, teaching or supporting others. She says that we can feel that we must exhale all the time. But we must remember to inhale. We have to have an equal balance - if you have been doing something which uses up your resources, you must then choose to do something that is replenishing.
If you fancy investing in your future happiness, I can help you.