Surround yourself with people who lift you up rather than pull you down. If there’s anyone in your life right now who is a negative force, make the decision now to cut them out. It’s important to think of it as you being nice to you, rather than you being mean to them. Try not to fall into the trap of putting up with negative people out of a sense of obligation, or trying to be a kinder person－ your self care always comes first, and a difficult conversation with someone is worth it for the lifetime of freedom it provides you.
If it feels daunting to face these people head on, try slowly phasing them out of your life－ stop replying so quickly to their texts and their emails, or share parts of your life with them. Start denying them the access to you that they have but don’t deserve. If they don’t take the hint, it may be time to have that difficult conversation. Here are some ways to deal with having the talk:
First, understand that it’s OK to walk away. You are the person who gets to decide who you spend your energy on－ no one is entitled to it, or allowed to make that decision for you. It’s OK to walk away from people who are bringing negativity into your life.
Don’t wait for an apology. It’s not coming. It’s important to take control and move forward with these difficult conversations regardless of how it may make the other person feel－ it’s about putting your needs first.
Give yourself a deadline－ if you keep putting it off, you allow the toxic person to continue to have access to you and drain your energy. By giving yourself a deadline, you have something tangible to commit to, and this can help you actualise the conversation rather than keep coming up with excuses.
Focus on the healthy relationships you have instead. It can be very helpful to allow your attention to centre around the people who bring you joy rather than those who don’t.
And finally－ let yourself be heartbroken. Even when people are bad to us, we can still grieve the loss of them in our lives. Allow yourself to feel this feeling, and sit with it until you can find closure. This will allow you to accept the past, and move on to the better things that lie waiting for you in your future.
What steps will you take to cut negativity out of your life?