Limiting beliefs are beliefs that hold us back from pursuing our dreams and desires. Many of us will have limiting beliefs that we aren’t even aware of– I used to believe that nobody would want to hear what I had to say, and that when I spoke I was taking up too much space. This limited the growth of my business hugely, finding myself turning opportunities to talk at events. Ultimately I believed that I had to be liked, and that if people didn’t like me I wasn’t worth anything. Now I know that part of being successful is realising that some people won’t like you– but that isn’t to do with me, it’s to do with them.
There are 3 main types of limiting beliefs. These include beliefs about yourself, things like “I can’t do this because I’m too old/too young/too uneducated”, beliefs about the world– “they will think I’m stupid if I do that” “I can’t leave this relationship because no one will want me”, and beliefs about life, for example “I don’t have time” or “Someone has already done this business idea, I’ve missed the boat.” By holding onto these beliefs, we subconsciously allow ourselves to make excuses for not striving to achieve our goals.
Personally, I know I have struggled with many limiting beliefs during my life. This has included things like thinking that no one would want to pay me for what I know, and that I didn’t have anything worthy to offer.
So how can we nip these beliefs in the bud?
The first step is to identify the limiting belief. For example, this may be the belief that you will never meet somebody because of your age, or that you’ll never get your business off the ground because you’re not good enough. It’s important to face these beliefs head on in order to change the way we think about them. Mindset is everything!
The next step is to question the belief. We spend so much time looking for evidence to prove our beliefs as true, but never any time looking for proof that they aren’t. Think about alternative possibilities, and what your life would look like if your assumptions were incorrect. Think about the other side of the coin– there is so much proof out there that your limiting belief is incorrect, you just have to choose to see it.
Ask yourself how this belief is serving you. Most of our limiting beliefs serve us by protecting us from things we see as scary, such as the prospect of struggling, or failure Is it worth it? Think about how much more we could get out of life if we just let go of those limiting beliefs and swapped them out for aspirational beliefs that will serve us so much more.
The final step is to create alternative beliefs. Become that annoying friend who always has an answer! A helpful way to do this is to write down your assumption, and then flip it on its head. For example, “No one wants to go on a date with a woman over 40” becomes “Some people have their most meaningful relationships later in life”. I changed my belief that no one would like me to the belief that it doesn’t matter what people think about me! I know in myself that I am worthy of taking up space. Never forget that you have options! If we can just see beyond that limiting belief to the world of options beyond, we create much healthier thinking patterns and set ourselves up for success.
What limiting belief do you want to overcome?